Friday, September 30, 2011

Central New York Roller Derby announces 2012 season

CNYRD announced their 2012 season this week!  Check out their season here:

CNYRD, out of Rome, NY, achieved full WFTDA member status in 2010 - t we are hoping to follow their footsteps!  HoT has played CNYRD several times, and we also do the occasional scrimmage swap. We <3 them... time to start planning some roadtrips to beautiful central New York.

Mark your calendars: upcoming charity bout - October 15

More information is coming soon (believe me, I'll dedicate a whole blog post to it!) but I want to point you all in the direction of the Facebook event for our upcoming Charity Bout on October 15 to get the initial details NOW.

Skate for a Cure: Hellions of Troy Roller Derby Charity Bout

This won't be your average roller derby bout. With Hellions on both teams, on the fly rule changes, and every few jams skated by our derby brothers of Capital District Men's Roller Derby - fans are in for a rowdy night of awesome roller derby and charity.  Proceeds from the bout will support breast cancer research and awareness.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Catching up on bout recaps: Hurricanes vs. Earthquakes 8/27/11

So... we were supposed to have an epic game against the Boston Derby Dames Boston B-Party... but then Hurricane Irene decided to ruin our party!  Due to impending weather circumstances, Boston was unable to travel to our location on August 27 ... so we had to make due somehow.  It was too late to cancel the bout. So, in a matter of hours, we pulled together two intraleague teams (with help from 5 other local derby players) and the concept of “Team Hurricane” vs. “Team Earthquake” was born.
Team Hurricane in black; Team Earthquake in pink. Photo by Space Chalky

Me in front of the White House. I ended my
vacation early to make this bout happen.
Kinda...not really. Dumb hurricane.
I wasn't actually rostered to play in the Boston bout, as Massacre and I were on vacation in Washington, DC and Baltimore that week for some baseball and roller derby. However, due to Irene, that weekend's baseball games were cancelled, so we decided to head back up to Albany a day earlier.

"Cool," I thought… "we'll be able to catch the Hellions play tonight!" 

Little did I know we would watch from the track. While I was riding back up to Albany in the car, I communicated with Baby Nuclear, our bout production manager, and Doc Hazard, one of our coaches. They were two people who really made this bout happen! The first phone call began with "we have a situation" and the last simple text message I received about an hour from Rollarama was "I think we're all set! Wear pink!"

The hurricane poured on us the whole ride back up to Albany…until exit 25, for beautiful Schenectady, NY where the sun was actually still shining. A good sign.

With solid rosters for both teams, Doc Hazard bench coached Team Hurricane and Roarshock made his Hellions coaching debut with Team Earthquake. For the most part, Team Hurricane lead in points scored, but the point spread was never too wide. The game ended with a score of 141 Hurricanes - 121 Earthquakes. The hurricanes dominated that weekend.
Delinquent Dollie, Sally Mae Hurtyou, Pork Slap and
Pied Viper. Photo by Space Chalky.
Game MVPs were Delinquent Dollie and Pied Viper (of CNYRD).  Game Heavy Hitter awards went to Sally Mae Hurtyou and Pork Slap!
Special incredible thank you to the local skaters who filled in our rosters at the 11th hour: CNY's Slay West and Pied Viper; and AASRD's Sweet Dee Bacle and Betty Blitzkrieg. Also Trixie Firecracker! <3 <3 <3

Speaking of hurricane domination, surrounding areas suffered major floor damage that weekend. Parts of the Capital District and beyond were under water. A portion of profits from our bout on Saturday, September 24 against Maine Roller Derby as well as food and items donated by our fans was donated to local flood victims.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Capital District Trauma Authority vs. Pioneer Valley's Dirty Dozen

On Monday, September 5 I headed out to Northampton, MA with the Capital District Trauma Authority to catch a Pioneer Valley Roller Derby's mens/womens derby double header. Monday was Labor Day and also the final day of the 3 County Fair. CDTA took on PVRD's Dirty Dozen, while Granite State Roller Derby (New Hampshire) played PVRD's Western Mass Destruction.
I went to the fair and saw the unusual specimens that are men's roller derby players.  Ooh, ahh.
We arrived at the fair early, and noted that the bout would be taking place in hanger/barn-like structure. The floor was literally made of dirt. In the center of the large, wide open building was a layer of ply wood, with skate court laid over it. Always something new with roller derby!
The venue.

We spent some time walking around the fair before the boys went to warm up. I spent time checking out the baby animals and resisting the temptation to eat all fried food in sight.
This rabbit looks like a pivot.  and OMG - baby ducks!

Doc Hazard bench coached for CDTA, so I sat and enjoyed the bout with Luci D. Dream, one of our refs, and Morticia VonGlitzngloss - Hellions skater and CDTA skater Hart Attack's girlfriend. I gotta be honest: the Dirty Dozen may just be my favorite men's derby league. I love the camouflage pants. I love their wily jammers. And Jurasskick Park (# 1993) is the freaking sweetest name ever. [I swear CDTA is a close second and maybe if Jurasskick Park transferred to CDTA that would tip the scale.]  The Dirty Dozen have been a force in men's derby for years, so it was a cool opportunity for CDTA to measure up. No one was expecting a win for CDTA, but the challenge was appreciated.

Massacre on the line vs. Jurasskick Park
I can't think of a comment that won't
get me in trouble.
Very often, although the Dirty Dozen would snag league jammer, CDTA jammers Gohan/Up End Atom, Johnny Malice, and Roarshock were able to break through the pack. It was exciting for me to watch Massacre pivot - he works hard to find a partner, recycle, and go for the hit. Massacre also got to jam a few times.

Hazmatt made his derby debut at this bout. He had a nice three person wall going at one point, and did not look like a total n00b during any part of the game, from what I saw anyway.
Johnny Rebel, Hazmatt, and Wellen Dowd form a nice three person wall.
The final score was PVRD 295 - CDTA 54. After playing one of the top mens teams in the country, congrats to (one of?) the newest in teams in New York on scoring just over 1 every 5 points, and holding PVRD under 300.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Bout Recap: Hellions vs. Maine Roller Derby's Calamity Janes

In front of a house of 300 fans, the Hellions continued their home winning streak on Saturday night coming out on top against Maine Roller Derby. This was a rematch from last summer, when we took a friendly beating (just kidding... kinda) in June 2010 when we traveled up to Portland.

Like I remembered from last year, Maine had heavy hits and played a very focused game. Our coach, Roarshock, commented how tight and organized their girls looked while they were warming up.

This year, for the Hellions, was another story. Coming off our high from our third place win at Empire Skate Showdown earlier this month, we were ready to take on Maine on Saturday.

But first we had a team effort to lay down the track! Setting up for a bout is a team effort.
Taping down the track boundaries before the bout. One layer of tape, one layer of rope, another
layer of tape. Short Temper, Disharmony, and Sick Puppy in the foreground. Photo by Space Chalky.
When we say this is a skater owned and operated league, we mean it!

Each team started off with a few good jams, and the team work on both teams was great. The Hellions began to pull ahead into the first period. At the half the score was 104 Hellions - 40 Maine.
Photo by Zack Zoll
Maine started the second period strong utilizing a one on one strategy, and had a few good jams which initially caught them up in points. The Hellions we able to adapt, but had to continue taking hard hits and face Maine's effective booty-blocking from A-Block and Cherry Clobber, a formidable two person wall. Maine also increased their jammer rotation to include REDdemption, a newer face to Janes - but you couldn't tell based on her determination to get through the pack.

Side note: I actually had the pleasure of meeting REDdemption the weekend before at Eastern Regional Playoffs. I sat with some Maine players and their fans during one bout. They were a super friendly bunch! Maine's all star team, the Port Authorities were the tenth seed last weekend at Playoffs. They faced some tough opponents, but they looked good doing it!

The game ended with a score of 201 Hellions - 109 Maine. Game MVPs were Baby Nuclear for HoTRD and REDdemption for Maine. Game Heavy Hitter Awards were presented to Kitty from HoTRD and Cherry Clobber from Maine.
Photo by Space Chalky

Mathundra Storm with her light saber.
Photo by Space Chalky
The Hellions also got a special treat during half time...!  Ed, the father of our announcer Eloda Sarcasm, present the league with some super awesome LIGHT SABERS as a "trophy" for coming in third place at Empire Skate Showdown.  It was awesome! And so super thoughtful of Ed! Ed is definitely one of the Hellions SUPER FANS.

This bout was cool for me because two of my sister and my mom were able to attend and cheer us on.  My best friends Rachel and Jen from high school where also there!  Ahhhh yay!!  My boss was also there with his wife and son. So awesome.

I got feedback from some people on my team that they think my sister Carol looks like my twin, if I had a twin in the 1980s. What do you think?!  And for the record, those are her natural curls - no fancy perms here.  Should I get a perm?
Carol and me at the after party.
Photo by Space Chalky
OK - that's all she wrote - for now!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Bring goods to the bout this weekend and get $2 off at the door

For each bout, the Hellions donate a portion of their proceeds to charity. The September 24 bout against Maine Roller Derby will benefit the recent flood victims in Schoarie County.

The Hellions are also hoping that their fans will lend a hand to those affected by Hurricane Irene by bringing and donating the following items:

  • non-perishable food items
  • personal hygiene items
  • baby items
  • cleaning supplies

Fans bringing items to donate will receive $2 off door ticket price.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Eastern Region Play-offs: Nightmare on 95 Day 1

I've got thoughts on three of Friday's bouts for you.

In the first game of the tournament, the Dutchland Derby Rollers took on our friends from Maine Roller Derby (we're playing their B team next week!). I think it was a surprise to a lot of people, but Team USA rostered skater, V-Diva, recently transferred to DDR from Lehigh Valley. Maine did well but Dutchland took the win- their next bout would've been against Gotham (#1 tournament seed) later in the day - except they chose to forfeit. Read about that over on derbynewsnetwork or pretty much any facebook wall of someone related to roller derby.

The London vs Carolina game was one I had been looking forward to. I saw London play Providence Roller Derby, and I thought they were pretty great! Last year at Regionals (back when it was "Regionals"), Carolina played Montreal, winning by only a couple points. In my mind, this was sort of an international rematch for Carolina.
Carolina literally facing of vs London
London ruled the game with smart trapping and super recycling from their blockers; and beautiful footwork by their jammers. Even with hard strikes to the hips driven by Carolina, the London jammers would rarely take a tumble, and more like do some sort of spin-around move and stay on their feet. I actually saw this move from a couple jammers this weekend, including Charm City's CC Bang Bang.
Carolina interesting strategy of starting facing the jammers. From the crowd, it seemed intimidating. I'm curious about this strategy - I'm sure we'll be hearing about it.
The final score was London 160 - Carolina 67.

Montreal vs. Steel City
So, first of all you had to wonder - is the whole league wearing unitards under their jerseys, like the coaches? Or are those just pants?
This was a low scoring game for the first 10 minutes, with a score of score 16 Steel - 6 Montreal. Steel inched up to about at 25 point lead, but in the final jams of the period, Montreal nearly shortened the gap to 49-41 - still a quite low scoring game.
Soon into the second period, we saw the first 1 point lead change.  Midway into period two, the Steel City jammer was unable to take advantage of a powerjam due to what appeared to be an equipment malfunction seconds into the jam. A minute passed as she attempted to adjust her kneepad (?) and shortly the Montreal jammer was back on the track.
Steel City's defense endeavored to be ruthless: with big girls Athena and Bonecrusher in the back of the pack, it was nearly impossible to get around them. I'd like to rephrase myself and say that they were big girls... with incredible endurance and jammer stopping hits. By the end of the period, Steel regained the lead and took the game 134 - 88.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Catching up on bout recaps: Hellions of Troy vs. Garden State Rollergirls 8/6/11

Last month we had a rematch against Garden State Rollergirls Brick City Bruisers.  We played them back in May, which might have been one of my favorite road trips of the Spring.

The final score of the bout was 154 Hellions - 98 Garden State.
You can check out videos from the bout here: thanks to Space Chalky!
You can read Baby Nuclear's recap here:

Lastly, check out some photos from Rob Gierthy!
Kitty getting through with help from Sally Mae.

Awesome elevator door by Epic Kate-tastrophe and Valerie Valkyrie.

Mathundra Storm doing what she does best - blocking jammers!

Empire Skate Showdown Recap Part 2

Read Part 1 about our games at Empire Skate Showdown here:
Reading our pre-bout team poem, "There Are My Skates"
Photo by Sean Hale/Hale Yeah

After winning our first two games, we secured a spot in the quarter finals, where we faced Central New York Roller Derby, who had also won their first two games.

The Hellions have worked closely with CNYRD in the past two years, making it a meaningful bout for both leagues. CNYRD opened the bout strong by scoring over 25 in the initial minutes of the game, which we were not able to make up for over the remainder of bout. The game ended with a final score of 86 - 32 and hugs shared between both teams. 

Taking advantage of a power jam.
Photo by Sean Hale/Hale Yeah

Baby Nuclear sneaking by Slay West
Photo by Hazmatt
Our first loss of the tournament sent the us down to the lower bracket, where they would face the Wall Street Traitors (New York, NY), who had faced one loss earlier in the tournament, to the Ithaca League of Women Rollers (Ithaca, NY).

The Traitors, who ended on top at last year's tournament, are part of New York's premier roller derby league, the Gotham Girls, who are currently ranked number one in the Eastern region of the Women's Flat Track Roller Derby Association (WFTDA).

Hellions vs. Traitors was the fifteenth game of the day, the fourth for the both teams, taking place eight hours after the first game of the tournament. It was apparent that both leagues were fatigued, but the Hellions opened strong to keep pace with their opponents in the initial minutes of the game. Never giving up, the Hellions continued to push themselves harder than ever, but were unable to keep up with the might of the Wall Street Traitors.
Solid hit from a Wall Street Traitors player.  I want to learn to hit like that!
Photo by Luna Obscura

Hellions manage to trap the WST jammer.  For a few seconds anyway.
Photo by Hazmatt

The final score of the game was 23 Hellions to 115 Traitors, but this loss placed the Hellions in third place of the tournament overall. The Traitors went on to face Central New York in the final match up of the day, where they ultimately secured the win. Central New York placed second in the tournament overall.

After placing last in the 2010 tournament, the we are extremely proud to have earned a space at the top this year. So far in 2011, the Hellions have a record of 8 wins and 4 losses to various teams in the eastern United States. We attribute our success this year to quality recruiting efforts, the hard work of our coaching staff, and the dedication of our players.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I just read this great article on It's written by Bane-Ana, who just days ago I saw play on a compilation team - the East Coast Irregulars (as Bane-ana on Skates, that is) against Harm City Homicide in Baltimore, MD. The Hellions also shared a locker room with his team (New York Shock Exchange's Coney Island Freak Show) at Empire Skate Showdown, so I then knew what he looked like sans banana suit.

Of course I'd seen Bane from afar at Regional Playoffs and on DNN, but most recently I had the pleasure of chatting with him post-bout and at the parking-lot-PBR-after-party on Sunday night. He's really just terrific, and his words in this article complete solidify my positive opinion of him.

If you love derby, then check out Bane-Ana's article on Compensation.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Two tickets for the price of one - today only!

Today only you can purchase a voucher from and pay $12 (regularly $24) for two adult tickets or $3 (regularly $6) for two kids' tickets. Your voucher(s) will be good for one year. We've got three bouts left this season for you to check out, or check back here for an announcement of our 2012 season. But don't wait 'til then - we'd love to see you soon!

Hellions of Troy next bout: Saturday, September 24.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Empire Skate Showdown recap - part 1

Photo by Hazmatt
The Hellions of Troy Roller Derby League earned a top three finish at the 2nd Annual New York State all-female flat track roller derby tournament "Empire Skate Showdown", hosted by the Long Island Roller Rebels in Old Bethpage, NY on Saturday, September 3, 2011. Nine New York teams participated in a total of seventeen thirty minute challenge bouts during the double-elimination tournament.

Double elimination meant that one loss would send a team down to the losers bracket, still with a chance to win the rest of their games to still come in on top.  A second loss could mean elimination from the tournament.

The Hellions scored their first win over the Hudson Valley Horrors (Kingston, NY) with a score of 67 - 40. The game started off fast. Like....insanely fast. The first couple jams it seemed that both teams want to use a strategy of racing the pack. This couldn't be maintained by either team, which slowed the pace of the jams down (which also works!)
Photo by Sean Hale/Hale Yeah
Our next match was against Roc City Roller Derby of Rochester, NY. The Hellions took a strong lead in the first 15 minutes, but after calling a team time out, Rochester rallied to shorten the gap to under 10 points. The Hellions held strong in the remaining minutes and held onto the lead with a final score of 74-71.
Taking advantage of a power jam.
Photo by Sean Hale/Hale Yeah.

Two wins secured a spot in the quarter finals, where the Hellions faced Central New York Roller Derby (CNYRD), from Utica, NY...

Stay tuned for Part 2!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Next bout: Saturday, September 24

Time for a rematch! In June 2010, the Hellions traveled to Portland, ME for an epic weekend of fun and good old fashioned roller derby. I also jammed for the first time in this bout (and scored 4 points!) Read the bout recap here:
The final score from this game was 157 Maine - 85 Hellions, so we're eager for this rematch. A year has gone by and our players have gained a lot of experience.
We're excited for this rematch!

Coming to the bout? Say so on Facebook.
Buy your advance tickets here:
As always, look for our ad in Metroland the week of the bout (9/22 edition)!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Short Temper! Go away! Leave me alone!

At one of our bouts, we had a sign table where we let kids make signs for the skaters. It was cute and fun! I think the sign I got is hilarious. I've never taken my name so literally before.

This sign now resides on the bookshelf outside of my cubicle at work. Every time I look at it, I crack up.

Speaking of work, my coworker sent me this comic a while ago.  Hah.