Guest post by Miss Ida: What is AFTDA?

Derby has its fair share of acronyms: HoTRD, CDTA, WFTDA, MRDA, NSO, LJ, JTO, etc

Miss Ida with CDTA skater Up End Atom.
Photo by Pete Rodriguez

It really goes on and on.

Announcing WFTDA Easterns 2010 with Rev Al Mighty of
Providence (Steel City vs. Charm City)

Sometimes it stands for a league's name like "HoT RD" is the Hellions of Troy Roller Derby. Sometimes it's a team like CDTA is the Capital District Trauma Authority (who skates under the league of Capital District Men's Roller Derby - CDMRD). It could also be a governing body like the WFTDA is the Women's Flat track Derby Association and MRDA is the Men's Roller Derby Association. Or it could be a certain type of official like a NSO is a Non Skating Official, those amazing people holding up the white boards and writing down important information on a clipboard. It could even be a specific move or status, LJ is Lead Jammer and JTO is Jammer Take Out, something most blockers strive for!

One acronym you might not be familiar with the AFTDA. Now, it looks pretty close to WFTDA and there is a reason for that. AFTDA stands for the Association of Flat Track Derby Announcers. Sadly not a lot of skaters even know such a thing exists...but we are hoping to change this!

Taken from the AFTDA Website:

If you have ever been to a flat track roller derby bout, watched one on TV or even caught one of the multiple on-line streams then chances are you've heard exceptional play by play, witty banter and a detailed explanation of the rules and strategy employed by the skaters on the track. If this is the case then you've heard an AFTDA Member hard at work. We are the sports broadcasters for the fastest growing sport in the world, Flat Track Roller Derby!

The members of the AFTDA strive to improve their knowledge of an ever changing game, increase their level of professionalism and ensure a good time is had by all. The AFTDA members are lovers of Roller Derby and their enthusiasm shines through in the voices you hear while at most sanctioned roller derby bouts. Certification tests have been developed to ensure that each announcer has a deep understanding of the rules, methods and hand signals employed during a roller derby bout. While they make it seem easy while on the mic, these announcers have dedicated their time and their efforts on bringing the highest level of play by play, sponsor marketing, crowd education and fan enjoyment possible to each and every bout.

Wait. Did that blurb up there say something about a test and rules? Oh yes! AFTDA members are the best of the best! We aren't just on the mic talking about pretty girls skating in circles.

We take this gig seriously.

AFTDA members are expected to know the most up to date WFTDA rule set. All 43 pages, including hand signals. It's a lot to know but if the announcer doesn't know it how are they going to explain it to you?

ECDX 2011 calling with Sashion Victim (Providence Roller
Derby vs. DC Rollergirls)

The certification test is given several times a year and mostly at large venue events, like the Big 5 Tournaments and the East Coast Derby Extravaganza put on bu the Philly Roller Girls every Summer (or as I like to call it: Roller Derby Summer Camp) ECDX is where I passed my certification test with a 98! I was pretty excited to say the least!

The AFTDA also has a Code of Conduct. You might be wondering why announcers would need a Code of Conduct for....Well, say you are a jammer and just reentered the track from the penalty box. Not one blocker has turned around to see you and all of a sudden the announcer calls out "Jammy McJammer is out of the box and about to pass through the pack!" Suddenly everyone turns around and sees her! D'oh! Not ok. This is a serious NO-NO in announcing and, conveniently enough, is addressed in the COC (another acronym). Derby announcing isn't like major league sports. Derby generally takes place in smaller venues and spectators and skaters alike can hear our announcing. The announcer’s job is to explain what just happened, not predict the future.

The AFTDA strives to make sure announcers do not:

• give away jammer position
• coach from the mic
• talk about a strategy that a team is about to try

Good announcing should have nothing but a positive impact on the bout. Educate and entertain, that’s my motto. Bad announcing can get you punched at the after party!

The AFTDA has a Board of Directors (BOD, I told you there are tons of acronyms). the BOD is made up of our Regional Representatives including the Eastern Rep, Boston Derby Dames very own Pelvis Costello.

I have known Pelvis for quite some time now, and I have to say he is one of my AFTDA derby announcing heroes. He is very witty and I dare say the master of pop culture references. He is also very knowledgeable about the sport. He was so very understanding and patient with me as I learned the ropes at my first WFTDA Regionals last year.

Working with one of her annoucer idols, Mr.
Jake Steel of the LIRR at ESS 2010.

Another one of my AFTDA announcing heroes is Long Island's Jake Steel.  He has been with LIRR (Last one, I promise.) since they first started up. I am proud to say the majority of my clever derby lines come from this man. He single handedly wrangles all of the announcing for the Empire Skate Showdown, New York’s roller derby tournament. That’s a lot of work and don't think we don't appreciate you for it Mr. Steel!


I have a very long list of announcing heroes so I won't subject you to all of them. But please keep in mind the next time you are at a bout and there is a good announcer who is speaking clearly, explaining the rules, is witty and doesn’t piss off the skaters. That might not be your average run of the mill announcer calling that play by play. You might be in the presence of an AFTDA certified announcer!

See you track side!

Ida Feltersnatch
Certified AFTDA Announcer
Ida on AFTDA
Ida on Facebook

Injuries and Regrets and Envy at a Tough Work Out

Guest post by Hellions freshmeat, Snausage

It's really hard to be injured when you've just discovered a sport that you love and really want to master. It's even harder to be injured when you so how much fun everyone is having during practice.

Last week the Hellions had a brutal endurance practice, and I wanted so badly to join them. It started out with the always fun, 40 in 10 (40 laps in 10 minutes). I re-injured myself a week ago during 40 in 10, so I know how hard it is. After four minutes, I spotted a certain Miss Short Temper attempting to call off this endurance work out as if she were lead jammer! Most of my fellow meat made a spectacular showing of it, getting over 40 laps in the time allotted. Good job girls!

Wall squats

The next part of the work out was a core work out drill. It started out with three sets of thirty second squats. I sat this one out as my Doctor has forbidden me from doing squats. The second part was three sets of thirty second bicycles (a type of 'crunch'), 'superman' (lie on your belly with your arms and legs raised off the ground and hold), and planks. I did participate in this workout and am grateful that I have much more core strength than I used to. There was much groaning and grumbling from the assembled players and referees, but you know they loved it.

Bicyles - a type of sit up.

Afterwards there were pack formation workouts. This I also sat out, but watched with great interest and much envy. Players were split up into groups of four and given a number. They were then to skate together and change position when it was called out, for example, two in the front, two in the back. There were 'whips' being given, to help players get into position more quickly. It was great to see the cooperation between seasoned vets and fresh meat (new members of the league).

The second pack drill was to block the jammer. Teams of four went out with a jammer following behind. I must admit I got a bit nervous when I saw one of our newest members going up against Miss Flexi Wheeler, who was jamming, but she held her own against a truly great player. It made me want to go out there and try it myself! Teams went out, many people fell, and a great and educational time was had by all. Here's a video of two teams of four out on the track, with a jammer trying to sneak her way through.

And then came the hitting. Players went out in groups of two and three to throw hits at each other, shoulder hits and hip hits. And while all of this was happening, the referees were out practicing their own skills. Even at practice, they are not shy about calling illegal elbows or back blocking.  All in all, an enjoyable practice to watch, but much more enjoyable to participate in as I saw on Facebook by all of the postings about being 'sore, but happy'. Hopefully I will heal soon and be able to return to my skates, until then this is Snausage, signing off.

Journey from Fresh Meat to Graduated Skater - Part 2

Check out Part 1 of Valerie Valkyrie's story here.

The continuing story from guest writer Valerie Valkyrie regarding her past 5 1/2 months with the Hellions. She's been with us all summer and has been an incredible asset to the league in terms of craftiness, willingness to participate in league events, and general friendlyness. Meet Valerie Valkyrie!

Guest post by Valerie Valkyrie

Valerie Valkyrie

When that fateful Sunday arrived, we hit the track with gusto and labored through our drills, pushing ourselves and trying not to focus on our mistakes. At the end of the night I was pleased with my performance but still unsure if I would pass. I knew where I may not have met the minimum requirements and where I didn't meet my personal standards. I drove home with a knot in the pit of my stomach and my fingers crossed.

Waiting the 24 hours to hear the results was less painful than I expected it to be. My day was full with school assignments and I didn't have much time to dwell on the test, although any free moments found my mind wandering to my t-stops, hits and whips. The second I got out of my evening class I raced to my car and may have driven a little too fast to Schenectady. I was miserable knowing that missing the first 20 minutes of practice meant likely missing the graduation announcements - maybe I should've skipped class that night. As I walked into the rink, Flexi smiled at me and extended her congratulations. I grinned and jumped and squealed. And then I got down to business putting on my gear to join the big girls on the big track because as exciting as passing minimums and graduating was, it simply means that I am in for even more work.

My first night as a graduated skater was an extended 3-hour practice and since I arrived late I knew I needed to stay for the whole thing. It was exhilarating and exhausting and I was sore afterward and I can look forward to that for the rest of my derby career. I spent so much time focusing on meeting those minimum skills and on passing the test and I hardly gave any thought to what would happen after that. I knew in my the back of my head that the hard work and training continues but it wasn't something that really registered until I hit the track. I realized that even though I can perform all the necessary skills, I now need to put all of that together in the midst of chaos. I'm back to being a beginner and I so look forward to developing a new set of skills.

Journey from Fresh Meat to Graduated Skater - Part 1

Sparkly HoT sign made by Valerie Valkerie

Check out thoughts from guest writer Valerie Valkyrie regarding her past 5 1/2 months with the Hellions. She's been with us all summer and has been an incredible asset to the league in terms of craftiness, willingness to participate in league events, and general friendlyness. Meet Valerie Valkyrie!

Guest post by Valerie Valkyrie

This is a long time coming.

I promised Short I would write a few different blog posts for her - one about my new skates and another about my love for hitting. But life took over and inspiration walked out on me and I never got them done. So I'm taking this time, so close to my recent graduation, to pour out my thoughts while they're still fresh and new.

I showed up at my first Hellions of Troy practice about 5 1/2 months ago. The first weeks were exciting but exhausting. I had also started a brand new on-my-feet-all-day retail job and I was constantly sore. My legs and feet were always aching, begging for a break. But I powered through it because something about roller derby caught my heart.

Brand new pair of roller skates!

Due to a lack of protective gear and then a nasty virus I missed almost a month of practices, upon my return the meat class was preparing for a minimums test and I was not ready. I tried it anyway, failing about half of the requirements and watched my compatriots graduate and take their derby names and kick ass on the track.

A few weeks later we held a recruitment night and brought in a few handfuls of new fresh meat and I went back to basics with them. After I had put in three full months of hard work, I felt ready to take minimums again and began pestering the coaches to run them - I can only imagine how annoying I must've been but I'm admittedly very impatient and I wanted to go, go, go! I understood, though, that they would be running a big test for just a few of us considering most of the newer meat wasn't really ready yet. So I waited and practiced and waited and practiced. And did wall squats and planks and ran drills and practiced falling and learned to place hits. And every time I started getting frustrated and maybe just a little bit bored, I was treated to a practice with the vets. Getting a taste of pack work and hitting and blocking drills was just the motivation I needed to continue working my ass off and wait (albeit impatiently) for minimums.

For the last month I wasn't the only one chomping at the bit - the women who joined during that recruitment night in late July were more than ready for a chance to prove their skills. It was announced that testing would be coming up in November and many of us spent those weeks alternating worry with excitement.
Would we pass?
What skills should we focus on?
Who could we snag to help us develop that lacking technique?
What fancy hot pants will give me the best range of motion while still making me look cute?

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Valerie's saga tomorrow!

Just When You Think You've Seen It All...

A guide to Overtime Jams

Guest post by Hellions referee, Beau T. Call

The ref crew for the Roast-Her bout. Hellions Miranda
Wrights, Luci D. Dreams, and Beau T. Call (top left).
Photo by Sean Hale.

Last Saturday, I had the privilege to officiate at the Jerzey Derby Brigade Roast-Her bout, featuring the JDB Corporal Punishers vs. the WB Scranton Roller Radicals. Both teams were very competitive, and at the end of the bout, it turned out that the scores were tied! This is a relatively rare occurrence at derby bouts, but when it happens, a special set of rules kick in and let the fun continue in an Overtime Jam.

Overtime Jams usually begin with an Official Time Out to double-check the scores. The score trackers will make sure that the score on the scoreboard is current. The referees are also using this time to remember the four special rules that kick in during an Overtime Jam.

The four special rules are fairly easy to remember. First of all, there will be one minute from when the Official Time Out ends until the Overtime Jam begins. This extra time is for the teams to sort out any special plays they might want to use.

Order your pocket-sized WFTDA Rules Handbook from the
WFTDA Store and don't leave home without it.
Photo by Sean Hale.

The second rule is that there is no Initial Pass. The Jammers start scoring on their first pass through the pack. This rule keeps the action going, and gives a 'sudden death' feel to the Overtime Jam.

The third rule is that there is No Lead Jammer. Since there's no Initial Pass, there isn't a Lead Jammer. Pretty logical, I'd say.

The final rule is that the jam will last the full two minutes. Since there's no Lead Jammer, nobody can call off the jam, so it will last two minutes (unless there's an injury, or the lights all go out, or that sort of thing).

Otherwise, the Overtime Jam is just like a jam in regulation time. Penalties will be called just like they were during the last hour of play, so it pays to skate clean in an Overtime Jam. Your minor penalties will also carry over from regulation time, so it might behoove a bench coach to put skaters with fewer minors in the Overtime Jam.

One observation about an Overtime Jam is that the crowd has lots of energy and gets very loud and expressive. This energy is very contagious and distracting at the same time. It's something to think about if you are a communicative skater (or if you're a ref trying to send a skater to the box).

When the Overtime Jam is over, the score will be tallied again, and the winner will be determined. If the score remains tied, there will be another Overtime Jam (with another one minute before it). This could conceivably continue until Armageddon, but even a second Overtime Jam is very rare indeed.

One final twist is that if the Overtime Jam is called off early due to injury or other unnatural endings, the running score will stand (unless it is still tied, in which case there will be another Overtime Jam). Again, this rarely happens, but it's what the rules say (Section 2.5, Overtime).

Overtime Jams and close bouts are very exciting. They are slightly different from regulation jams, but the differences are fairly easy to understand and remember. If you ever experience an Overtime Jam, you will understand how they exemplify the energy and sportswomanship which is the spirit of Roller Derby.

Meat Locker Missive #4

Fresh Meat Interview: Rock Lobster
By Hellions Fresh Meat: Roadkill

In the first of a series of interviews with my fellow Hellions "meat," I present our resident craft-manic, tutu-toting meat girl, Rock Lobster:

What brought you to join the Hellions and to roller derby in the first place?
My path to roller derby started with a moment of clarity. I attended my first ever bout and at about half time I couldn't stand it anymore; I needed to play. It felt like I had found something I was missing. I was at a place in my life where I needed something to prod me on and roller derby became that something.
What's inspires you, and or what in your life has prepared you to keep coming back and to excel in this sport?
I think the primary skill all new girls have in common is that ability to show up to practice and at least try to do what they say even when it looks like a really bad idea. Beyond this universal starting point what drives each of us is unique, for me it is my extreme competitiveness. Winning is important to me, each new skill I master is a win, each practice I attend when I would rather nap is a win, each time I fail and try again is a win. Roller derby has provided all of those gold stars of accomplishment I miss from school.


How has playing this sport and being part of the Hellions community affected you and your family?
The Hellions community is my first ever exposure to a team atmosphere. I was surprised by how together they are, truly they have formed a strong sense of unity while still being competitors. These are girls who will try very hard to knock me down and then give equal effort to help me back up. I skate harder to earn my place.

What are you finding to be the most challenging part of roller derby?
The biggest challenge I face is myself, which is probably true of most girls. I am very hard on myself, when you challenge a classic over achiever either she excels or she implodes. I am never truly satisfied with my skills, praise rolls off my back and I focus on what should have been better. My challenge is treating each practice as a clean slate, each lap as a new opportunity.


The most rewarding part of derby?
Being very very tired.

Anything else you'd like our readers and fans to know about you?
Roller derby slowly creeps into your identity, being able to skate low makes you stand taller; exercise is more fun when it consists of left turns and all you need to join is the ability to show up.

Catch up on previous Meat Locker Missives here.

Sunshine and Rainbows (Or... How I Spend Time With My Big Derby family)

Guest post by Deadlie Mercury

The reason I decided to do roller derby back in January was because my long term boyfriend was going abroad for school for the next two years and I needed something exciting in my life to kill time. Now ... when I joined The Hellions I figured "Alright, these girls seem swell and I'm sure we'll get along great at practice and we'll probably do some events and after-bout parties but that will be that." I never really thought that these ladies would become a group of friends that I would go out of my way to hang out with.

Hellions Camping Trip

It's not mandatory that your derby team becomes your second family (or third, or fourth) but it happens. You discover that the people you play with can relate to you on and off the track. You find you have common interests outside of roller derby and end up sharing them together. I don't just skate with my teammates, we all go on outings together too! We usually refer to them as 'Sunshine Events' (not sure what or if other teams would call it). From time to time some of us will come up with an idea of "Hey, that would be tons of fun, I bet some of the girls would be interested in this!", so the word is spread that this awesome thing is coming up and all are invited to partake. We've done movie nights, CD swaps, adult-toy bingo, camping trips, apple picking/haunted house-type-stuff, etc. There's really no limit to what we find entertaining.


This past weekend five of us went to Bowman Orchards for a delightful day of apple picking and cider drinking, then to Liberty Ridge Farms to get our pants scared off in the haunted corn maze and of course for more cider consumption.

Ursula Udders, Asa Diamonds, Shockratease,
Spam Ghetti-Ho's, and Deadlie Mercury

We found some of the best apples, figured out a complicated pumpkin maze together, and ran from guys with chainsaws. It was a blast, and honestly, it's refreshing to know that yes, while we can all get together and talk derby for a while, we can also put that aside for other subjects. I love finding out new things about my teammates. What they studied/study in school, what kind of pets they have, even their views on meat consumption. It shows you really can find a kindred spirit in someone that you never thought you would. For example, I recently realized how many geeks play roller derby and it's always nice to know I'm in good company.

HoT Family Photo - before the June 12 bout in Maine.

No one told me how close I would become with my teammates -- that I would have a genuine connection with them. I thought we were just practicing together. We hang out on weekends, and we do road trips to bouts, tournaments, and conventions. When fully invested in derby, you see your teammates a lot, so you'd better like them. In some ways they know me better than most. They see a part of me on the track that I rarely show - that raw and competitive side who has never really made an appearance outside of roller derby. But they also see the part of me that my other friends see too, the goofy girl who just needs a beer and good company and she's happy.

One Year Derby Anniversary: Ursula Udders

Guest post by Ursula Udders

How Caitlyn became Ursula Udders

Before roller derby I was Caitlyn - a secretary by day and a theater student by night - besides that I had nothing all that interesting going on: all my friends were at schools in other states, and I wasn’t really great at meeting new people. So I spent most of my time at home or doing things with my mom. On October 2nd, 2009 I was at the mall with my mom because we were bored and shopping was something to do. The first thing we always do is go past the theater to see if anything good is playing, and thats where I saw it: “Whip It” sneak preview one week early... I had heard of it and was really interested in seeing it. At this point I didn’t think roller derby existed anymore, that it was just something people do in TV and movies to make for interesting plots...and boy was I wrong.

Hair/makeup: Total Image Salon;
Photo by Dino Petrocelli

Before the movie all these girls with odd names like Scarbucks and Doc Bi O’Hazard came in and sat in the reserved seats. I thought nothing of it and the movie started. By the time the movie was over I was in love and wished roller derby was still around. I’d say about a minute after I thought about that and was out of the theater a girl who had the name Kitty Porn on her back was handing me a flyer about a roller derby recruitment night that Monday for the Hellions of Troy. Needless to say that was all I could talk about for days. I wasn’t sure I would be able to make it that Monday because I had a theater history class, so I went to the website and sent them an E-mail asking another time I could come. Within a few hours I had an e-mail from a girl named Shockratease (an e-mail I still have) saying it was no problem and I could come by on a Thursday.

Spicy! Hair/makeup: Total
Image Salon

By the time Monday came around I couldn't wait any long so I set out on going and missing class. When I got there I was greeted by Kitty and Shock. Soon after I was encouraged to put on skates and try it out (Rollarama is an active skating rink, so new recruits can borrow skates until they get their own). The last time I skated was when I was 13 so I knew I wouldn’t be very good at it. I was right - I spent most of the night clinging to the wall with help from a girl named Ivanna. Regardless of my poor skating I wanted to come back and get better. By the third practice I had found my center of balance and got my meat name: Spicy Tuna. I couldn’t of been happier.

Broken ankle cast
featuring Hellions colors

On October 5th 2010, it will be one year exactly that I’ve been with the Hellions of Troy... no longer as Spicy Tuna, but as Ursula Udders. I haven’t actually gotten to play in a bout yet since I broke my ankle on January 14th and took almost 4 months to recover, but I haven’t let that scare me away. Yes, that first time back on skates is terrifying thinking about what if it happens again, but you gotta do it and not let anything scare you. It’s also much easier to do with 30+ girls cheering you on. I haven’t passed minimums yet but I’m determined to pass them by my birthday in January.

This has been the best year of my life. I’ve met so many people on my team and on others. I can no longer imagine my life without derby and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

“Stuff You Should Know” Podcast on Roller Derby

Guest post by Miranda Wrights aka Emily Menn

A popular podcast from Discovery Network, Stuff You Should Know, recorded a great overview of derby. Based on an article by Tracy V. Wilson, this hilarious show walks you through the history, rules and culture of modern derby.

The hosts, Josh Clark and Charles “Chuckers” W. Bryant, have explained how hundreds of topics from sleepwalking to how mercenaries work. You’ll laugh out loud at their awe of fishnet burns and practice their sports commentary skills.

Check out the online article for a great interactive flash animation where you can run a jam. Visit: http://www.howstuffworks.com/roller-derby.htm

Listen to the podcast at:
http://podcasts.howstuffworks.com/hsw/podcasts/sysk/2010-09-28-sysk-rollerderby.mp3
or download it for free on iTunes.

Our Cup Runneth Over!

Guest post by Flexi Wheeler



On September 4th the Hellions traveled -- en masse in a chartered Yankee Trails bus -- down to Old Bethpage for the first ever, all-New York State, roller derby tournament.  This tournament was organized and hosted by the Long Island Roller Rebels who invited every league in the state, with eight leagues accepting the invitation to play, including:  Albany All Stars, Assault City of Syracuse, Central New York, Gotham Girls of NYC, Hudson Valley Horrors, Ithaca League of Women Rollers and of course ourselves and Long Island.



We went down to the tournament with a roster of 20 players of varying experience, from a single 3 year veteran (uh, that’s me), to two players who had not yet ever bouted!  The bulk of our players were evenly divided between girls who had just finished their second season and girls who had just finished their first season.  Because we knew we were the most junior league entered in the tournament, we expected to be challenged and to learn a lot.  It was anybody’s guess what it would be like when we got down there but our entire league was excited to be a part of this tournament.  Our coaching staff made it very clear that, in true Hellions spirit, we would be playing every member of our roster in at least one bout.  We believe that building a strong league and promoting ideals of fair play will eventually lead to athletic dominance as we support our players at every stage of their development.



When we arrived at the tournament, I was personally overwhelmed by the realization that I knew so many other players.  It was like a big derby reunion for me, and a wonderful networking opportunity for all of our newer girls.  Typically, we play a single team at a time and expect to see other players we’ve met on the track before, but to see everyone all at once was really awesome.  You begin to feel like the roller derby community is huge as you looked around and saw sooooo many familiar faces yet, at the same time, you realize it’s small and intimate because you know all these people by name.  And, the relationships!  Positively incestuous!!!  Players that used to be on one team but now on another.  Players that are also refs (refs that are also players?).  Leagues that arose as offshoots of other leagues.  The same themes play out over and over all over the derby world, and a tournament of this size – biggish yet smallish – brings that realization in to focus.  I’ve had the good fortune to have played alongside, or against, many of the players on each of the leagues who were there.



I don’t know if anyone reading this wants the detailed blow-by-blow of all the scores for the myriad of bouts played over the course of that very long Saturday but I’ll assume you’re interested in how the Hellions did.  Fair assumption if you are reading this!  

Photo by Sean Patrick Hale

Our first bout of the tournament was against Central New York.  We had played CNY out in Rome, NY at the beginning of our 2010 season so it was a real pleasure meeting up with them again.  The Clubbers, as they are known, came out victorious, beating us 63-43 in the half-hour bout.  The Clubbers were in especially great spirits, having just received word in the prior week that they had been admitted to the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (roller derby’s national governing body) as a full member league, having fulfilled the terms of the apprentice program.  There was a lot of congratulating going on as this is a big achievement.

In our second bout we faced off against our good friends, The Hudson Valley Horrors.  Seeing some of those familiar faces reminded me of a brutally hot summer day back in 2007 when I played in my first ever exhibition bout and where members of the Horrors were there to help out.  I realized I’ve known some of these ladies for 3 years now.  We have recently begun working more closely with the Horrors, scheduling regular scrimmages between our two teams and it’s an arrangement we’re all stoked about.  The Horrors emerged the winners with a final score of 83-43.


Our final bout was against the Assault City girls.  Those of us who know them haven’t seen them in quite some time because we have not played them since our last season (2009) at Frear Park in Troy.  I will always fondly recall my first opportunity to play Assault City, back in the spring of 2008, as the bout where I first found my hitting mojo.  This was our closest bout yet we still suffered a last defeat, losing 62-52. 

At the end of the day, the tournament awarded MVPs to each team and consoled the 8^th place team (uh, that’d be us!) with a bandaged bruised apple trophy.  We all got to play some derby, mingle with our derby comrades, and watch some amazing derby too; for excitement, you just couldn’t beat the final championship game between the All Stars and Gotham’s Wall Street Traitors.  Gotham’s derby dominance is legendary, having been in existence for 7 years and national champions several times.  With only an 8 player roster, Albany gave the Traitors an incredible run for their money, eventually taking second place overall.  It was a helluva way to spend a Saturday and Long Island deserves generous accolades for such a successful event.



It’s not always the big victories but sometimes a series of little victories along the way that keep you on track to your goals.  We held our own against more established leagues, we played all of our players, we never lost by more than 40 points and nor did anyone hold us to under 40 points.  And we had FUN.  And we saw our friends.  If that glass ain’t at least half full, I don’t know what is!  Our foremost league goal is to have the Hellions gain entrance in to the WFTDA apprentice program so that we can continue to grow our league, promote the sport of roller derby and eventually find ourselves playing the sport we love at the regional and national levels. Hey, anything is possible when you put your mind to it and you have the collective force of 60 dedicated individuals---HELL YEAH, HELLIONS!!!